This post is really me just rambling about stuff...so..dont feel obligated to read it. Plus it is very jumbled.
Lately I have been talking to a lot of different people. Whom I either have never talked to before or it has just been a long time since I have talked to them. I learned a lot. And wonder why.....why I dont take the time to be more open and friendly, why I dont break out of my shell and get over myself, why I hide behind a shy, calm and/or reserved facade when I really do want to do something spontaneous and crazy. I want to do something unexpected. I want to do this for myself..selfish, huh? I know that when I actually go and do something, instead of just sitting in the background or on the sidelines, that I learn so much. I learn about other people; I find out what makes them who they are, what they have gone through, their opinions and I learn from their wisdom. I also learn things about myself in those situations. I grow from them. Yet most of the time I still let the fear keep me from that growth and those lessons. Why? Because I am afraid that if I were to really let myself say what I want or do what I want, to actually express myself completely, that I will be messing something up. That I will ruin a friendship that I have, or a relationship that I am in. By no means is this anyones fault but mine. Looking at all my friends that I have, I am pretty much positive they couldn't care less how I acted, or if I randomly did something crazy or unplanned. They wouldn't think badly of me. This is all me. All my own stupid musings and thoughts and fears...
I love reading this. I may or may not have read it twice. Ok, fine, three times. Sherry, you are so cool! I think you are being hard on yourself. I like your thoughts though! There comes a point, I am not saying I have reached this point, but I think that there comes this point where you've just got to let your hair hang down and throw caution to the wind. You are so fun to be around, I don't see how anyone could ever NOT think that. Especially if you are just being yourself. And if some idiotic blind person thinks that you aren't the best thing to ever happen their lives, well then they are just wrong. Because guess what?! You are amazing. Pull out your knife, and get to cutting those layers! On yourself, if you so desire, or on any other person in the world. The world is at your fingertips. Just reach for it.
ReplyDeleteI like this post a lot. and you. a lot.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself for not coming out of your shell all the time. It isn't easy and might take a lot of work. But, like you said, I know you will learn a lot from it.
Anyone that is going to stop liking you because of some crazy thing you do or say isn't worth your time anyways. Anyone that is really your friend, or someone you would want to be friends with, could care less.
Like me. love ya sherry